Saturday, 8 January 2011

Man Points: The First Issue

Man points are not awarded by an individual. Rather, they are simply woven into the fabric of the universe

Already, so early in my Man Points acquisition, I am a failure. Turns out I should have done some research before I threw myself into this noble quest. Once I'd published my last post, I belatedly asked Google about Man Points, and thus far Google has informed me that I have already lost points for the following things:
  • Not having a hairy chest
  • Owning a cat
  • Lacking in the trouser department
  • Not being able to get the lid off something
  • Keeping track of Man Points
Funnily enough, the last offence was the one that cropped up most frequently.
I'll change my tack, and instead of counting my Man Points, I'll just acknowledge that some more have been accumulated and therefore I am slightly more masculine. That'll do.

Luckily I also managed to redeem myself for not having made my own sandwich this morning, which apparently earns me some Man Points.

Thanks Mummy Emily Jane!

Man Points

Beware of the man who denounces women writers; his penis is tiny and he cannot spell

It's been a week. I've spent the last week umming and ahhing over what to write. I've spent the last week not having a clue what I can write about. I've spent a week not writing. So here I am, a week later, and the best I could come up with is writing about how I have nothing to write about. Someone, please, sound the originality gong.

Now that I've decided to veer away from writing about fashion (as if I was the Fountain of All Knowledge), I've also managed to veer away from having anything to write about at all. In all fairness, it hasn't been a particularly exciting week. College returned to my schedule, I returned to work and my car returned to functionality. Poor excuses, I know.

When I mentioned restarting HCD at some point on facebook, a friend of mine from college suggested (jokingly, I believe) that I include some Man Point suggestion opportunities. Man Points, for those of you who are unaware, are Points one obtains from doing Man things. These things do not include fixing a fuse or bleeding a radiator. I will refer to the ever knowledgeable Urban Dictionary for a true definition. points114 up, 9 down
Points that one receives upon the completion of a distinctly manly task. More often than not, intelligent points and man points are inversely proportional.

Points received for doing stereotypical macho actions like starting a fight with a professional boxer, taunting someone to throw a dart at your face, lighting a fart on fire, or holding a scorching object in your hand for an extended period of time
-Dude, I totally just walked barefoot over jagged rocks.
-Wow, you really earned some major man points.
I took this suggestion seriously, and it is my personal quest to earn more of these Man Points. So far I'm on 20,000 points, all of which I earned for accidentally vomiting in plenty of holy water during a trip to India. I'm going to be taking suggestions for activities that could potentially earn me some Man Points. Suggestions can be made in person, or can be emailed to, at which point they will be considered by a panel of independent adjudicators in the naughty corner of my history class. Once suggestions have been deemed worthy and given a point scoring, I will then endeavour to collect these Man Points, and document my efforts on Happy Cup Day.

Let the Man Points acquisition begin!

Saturday, 1 January 2011

Emily Jane swallows her pride and on with it gets

The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people

During the months that I spent in Quebec, I truly found out who I am. When you start afresh some place new, you can wipe the slate clean and be exactly who you want to be. I made myself into an eccentric, bubbly poser. And I loved it. When I got home, I took some of it with me, and left other bits behind. Responsibility calls. Employment, education, politics. The months passed and I left something behind that had shaped who I had become.

So when the yearning to restart Happy Cup Day became stronger, I batted the feeling away.
There's a nagging voice in my head that squeals 'Reviving it now will only highlight to everyone that you ever stopped it in the first place!'
It's true. I've let HCD slip through my fingers before, and this isn't the first time that I've promised to get back on the wagon.

However, on a whim (which is how I make most decisions), I have decided that 2011 is a year to face the music. A year to stop procrastinating, swallow my pride, and hurry up and do the things that I want to do. I have already finalised my university choices. Next stop, Happy Cup Day.

This resolution (along with a promise to speak French more) doesn't change the fact that I'm a busy lady these days. I'm on an intensive college course, and I work at my local shopping centre. I also get involved with local politics every now and then, and soon I'll be starting rehearsals for a play. Throw in a family, a 3-in-1 best friend, a boyfriend, and some form of occasional social life, it doesn't really sound like I've got the time to be writing here like I used to.

Happy Cup Day was originally a time filler; now the dynamic has changed. So what will HCD be now? I've got no clue. All I know is that I've missed ranting wildly to my audience of spoons. At the moment, that's all that matters.

Start of HCD 2010 Start of HCD 2011

2011...official year of On With It Get